pikahead

Hello it's me again. :D Mikhail desu.

I started this post thinking of dedicating short messages to some people around me. I don't know what it's for, but I just feel like it. Perhaps what I say doesn't mean much or what but well it's generally what I have to say to you guys. And don't mind the length! I'm just typing the first 1 or 2 thoughts that come to my mind when I'm typing it out. :) This is a bit weird cos probably only 1 out of 10 or maybe even 1 out of 15 will actually read this post -______________- haha!

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Wow I spent slightly more than 2 hours on this entry. :)

I stayed awake overnight :D

Leave comments okay?

I finally know what it feels like to have been in the army for too long. It extends beyond the normal angst and whines all the servicemen experience even if they'd only spent less than 6 months into service.

And it really feels horrible. It's terrible. :/

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

( Please don't read if you can't stand F. )

( Cut cut. )

Hello, I'm copying Nessa's P word. Pissy.

Recently I've been feeling pissed cos my friends are being P.

What used to be priorities are now merely options. I can't blame them anyway. Their lives' focus shift, they move on. It doesn't matter what we used to be in the past, only the present matters. No point arguing this point, cos it's exactly what you'd tell your friend who has suffered a break-up, NO?

The irony of life. You echo clichés to describe apt situations, but when their validity is questioned against your principals and morals, you back down almost immediately.

Why put in one-sided effort? Is it really worth it? Will it be worth it? I don't know, but a stab in darkness doesn't always yield nothing. It is literally impossible to yield nothing, because nothing doesn't exist. Nothing is NOTHING. You always gain something, but if it is of no value to you, it cannot be defined as NOTHING indefinitely, cos it is SOMETHING literally.

Oh WTF I'm just ranting.

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Back to camp on a weekend. A lovely weekend, cos of island re-sit test. -_- Long weekend ruined.

Opened this window to start an LJ entry at 23:40 but ended up starting at only.... 00:51. Haha.

Well, since I started using twitter, I've grown kinda lazy to actually LJ. Cos twitter provides an output for me to update about my daily life as and when things happen! So it helps in some way cos there's some sort of "instant gratification" as compared to leaving everything piled up and expending it all in one long long LJ entry! Pros and cons, right?

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So.. Nothing much has been happening recently, as usual.

My last field camp ever ended on Thursday afternoon. Cleaned up stores and booked out that night at 9pm. :D Long weekend YAY! Next weekend's gonna be long too cos of Hari Raya Haji. :D I intend to take a long weekend... Should I? D: Like damn bad. Haha!

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SO I'm finally done with my Japanese school's exam papers. Oral, written and listening comprehension. Up next would be the official JLPT 4 paper. :| if I can pass my school's papers, JLPT shouldn't be a problem, huh?

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Speaking of Japan!! I'm really interested in going for some kinda exchange program in Japan! Like I live with a Japanese family, follow them wherever they go to learn about their culture and way of life, in exchange I'll teach them English or something. Damn cool?!?! For 3months I hope!! I know I'll be home-sick, for sure. Haha!

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Catching 2012 with @TalishaLT, @roxannewt, Zaini and SEX tomorrow!! Okay so I haven't actually told anybody about SEX but it's gonna be okay. (I'm NOT GAY. Just saying!!)

Choir practice tomorrow! I don't even know now if it's gonna be combined practice with PJ or just our own practice at SIM. -_- much hope on combined practice with PJC!

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I think that's about it, for now. And I think I'm getting over it.

Met up with Nessa for lunch at Central's Manhattan Fish Market today. :) lunch was fun! (funny word to use, I know) but what else can I say? It's lunch with NESSA after all! :)

Proceeded to Liang Court's Starbucks to relax for a bit, where she practically forced me to take part in Lyrical dance lessons!! It's not that bad but I'm just trying to show that I was a submissive person. Haha!

Okay then I left after a while to go home relac chill and have dinner with my family before I headed out for DANCE that very night!

I was so wrongly attired, in a fitting t-shirt and a pair of berms. What was I thinking when I left the house anyway? D:

DANCE WAS FUN! But tiring and stretched me to my limits again. Sucks after not dancing for 4 years and not having a proper exercise for 2 years. BUT IT WAS FUN LA. :D

WEEOWEET.

ARSENAL TAKE ON WOLVES TOMORROW MORNING 1.30AM! WHYSOEARLY.

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Movie with the guys + SEX!

Sentosa with cousins on Sunday!

Used to be my favourite word. "hur". But I outgrew that cos it made me look childish and stand-offish, both of which I'm not, so yeah.

Recently I've been angsty. Emo. Whatever you might call it. But overall, I'm just very very discontented with my life. Unpleasant event stemming from Japan trip kinda started the snowball, and now it's just rolling and rolling on, down the snow mountain. When it eventually hits something, it's gonna hit so hard it's gonna hurt SO bad.

I know it.

I've friends around me, but I feel like, wtf?

I took too much for granted in the past, when people asked how my day was, whether I had a new haircut cos of my new DP, whether life in NS was alright. I took it ALL for granted. I shirked them off with lazy non-committal replies and half-hearted answers, it just pushed them away. They cared. Whether it was a little bit, or a truckload, they cared. And I chased them away. Now I'm all alone and I'm feeling sorry for whatever I did in the past. I regret my actions that were triggered by a series of negative emotions probably due to psychosis or some hormonal imbalance. But overall, my message is that -  I REGRET IT.

Living a life where some people cared (even if not many), is far better than living a life where nobody cares. I'm no longer a priority, not even an option anymore (friendship). I'm just a stupid selfish loser.

I don't know what else to say anymore.

Life has been mundane to the maximum.

Every day has been the same. Facebook and twitter and football news and youtube. OMG. Luckily I still have PSP and iPod Touch to accompany me.

Been surfing the net and reading up on Blackberry's a lot recently! I think I'm definitely getting a BB! :D But expensive leh. Gawd.

Ohgawd. -_-

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Gonna be a busy busy Saturday when I book out. Japanese class, Movie with SEX, Arsenal match at home with brother and cousins before supper with LT and co. :D

Busy but worth it la, huh? 

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I'm still holding on.

hmm so i'm LJ-ing from my phone from the first time.

What prompted me to LJ? I don't know. I've nothing better to do and fb and twitter's getting stale. Fb cos it's hard to navigate and twitter cos nobody's talking to me anymore!! I'm such a no-life. Lol.

Haven't LJ-ed in a pretty long time cos.. I don't know. No reason? Haha.

Well the most notable events in the past week would be the meetups with Tricia and the sentosa outing which i'd mentioned before. Life's as per normal other than those.

Oh yeah, I booked out on thursday for medical appointment and nights off to celebrate mum's 48th! Happy Birthday again, mum!

Friday I booked out to conduct a house visit on my storeman. Another half day off.

Today I had Japanese lessons, another half day off.

And Wednesday I conducted house visit, and that was my first half day off.

Monday I'm booking out for yet another medical appointment and Wednesday I'll be conducting another house visit. Lol.

I think I'm a very lucky person o.O haha.

Well, at least in some aspects of life I am..

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So when people get a lot from life, they take a lot for granted. Yet people who get little almost take nothing for granted. Meaning that the act of taking for granted isn't relative to how much you receive. You just do it when you get a lot, and don't do it when you get little. But having said that, the more people get, the more they take for granted. What's the point of mentioning all that? No point. Haha.

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Bad thing about LJ, no tags and no cuts and no moods. O.o boo.

Lull has started! :D

Ends on 23rd Oct! :D

Thus far;

Sept:
10: Re-SOC
12: The Accidentals Meet-up + Han's birthday!
15-19: PES E 04/09!
24-31: JAPAN!

Oct:
1-5: JAPAN!
11: LAYTENG'S BIRTHDAY! (EDITTED DUE TO SLIP OF THE FINGERS!)
22: MUM'S BIRTHDAY!

ASK ME OUT! :D

:D

LULL IS ENDING.

New intake of recruits coming in on the 22nd of October. Not sure what time. :| People whose brothers, boyfriends, sisters are coming in on that day: HAHA!

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Spent my final night out of camp with Tricia at Clarke Quay! :) had dinner at Brewerkz! (Don't know how we spent 3 hours talking there!) followed by a Trishaw ride around the CBD. :) though it's pretty expensive ($40 for 40 minutes!) but it's a really memorable experience! Probably should have gotten a fitter trishaw rider, this guy pedaled quite slowly. :X

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Going back to camp tomorrow. Boohoohoo. M1 Unlimited Data Plan equipped! Cancel the Boohoohoo! :D:D

Twitter and MSN FTW! PES C recruits FTW!

ORD FTW! IT'S ALL COMING SO SOON I CAN SMELL IT JUST ROUND THE CHRISTMAS CORNER. :)

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KUANYEE FTW! ! !

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ARSENAL FTW!!

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I miss you but it's alright. :)

Saturday started off with swimming with the dudes at SEX's house. :) lunch at West Mall subway! I half-prayed I'd see Kuan Yee cos it'll definitely brighten up my day. :( @KuanYee OH NO CAN'T TAG.

Met Tricia for dinner! :) met at Ion and then walked to Traders' Hotel all the way at the Tanglin end of Orchard! Dinner was swell. :) starters, appetizers, main course, desserts; and concurrently, great company! Though conversation was a bit one-sided, I'm fine with it :D

Arsenal match + DotA with cousins followed!

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Sunday I woke up reallllly tired. Went to Jurong East to celebrate maternal grandmother's birthday! (both paternal and maternal are just "ah ma" to me)

Then proceeded to meet Kai at vivo city! Sentosa! :D

Didn't really plan for it, we ended up tanning for 15 minutes, playing in water for 15 minutes, and spent almost an hour playing beach volleyball with 2 girls we don't even know. LOL.

Went to shop Ben Sherman and Fred Perry. WE'RE RICH K. HAHAHA. I bought a BS tee and a FP polo tee, he bought a BS tee. :D

Dinner at Kovan Food Centre before coming home. Tired.

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待って　います

Today I had dinner with Bert at Clementi Food Centre, hung out for a while before heading to her hostel.

I THINK HOSTEL IS COOL :@ part of me can't wait to finally move on to the university phase, but part of me dreads living in hostel, cos I don't think I can handle it at all. :|

I need a double room!

Thanks Bert! :)

I am happy when..

I'm chatting with my friend(s), whether it's on MSN or face-to-face.
I'm hanging out with a good friend. (can be doing anything, really!)
The weather is cool and I'm not perspiring. (I perspire very easily :( )
I'm playing my favourite computer/PSP/whatever game!
I'm at a big family gathering and I can talk to all my cousins.
I accidentally bump into an old friend and we catch up for like 5 minutes.
I'm out with my best friends!!!!
I buy something new that I LIKE!
I'm pleasantly surprised.
I'm smsing somebody!
I'm driving carefreely and aimlessly, blasting random radio channels and suddenly a familiar song pops up!!
I'm playing DotA with my cousins.
I'm not in the army!
I'm lying in bed just after waking up and can afford to think to myself, "Hey I've nothing on for today and I'm on OFF for tomorrow too!!"

I like somebody..

Who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows
Only time

And who can say if your love grows
As your hearth chose
Only time

Enya - Only Time

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Somehow lost the motivation with my D90, finding it harder and harder to bring myself to use it and bring it around. :(

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I've always had plans. I plan for everything. However, I do not consider the possibility that my plan may actually fall through. I've always been perfectionist to a certain extent, and unfortunately that encompasses the impossibility of my plans failing. So when things fall through, I tend to fall too.

That's the problem with myself. While I declare that I'm objective and realistic, this particular characteristic of mine actually makes me a very idealistic person. With me, an apple can be an orange too. o_O

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Anyway the wind blows.

One of Shuling's composition's: True true.

It suddenly played in iTunes and.. It just set me thinking.

Not like I'm gonna share it here, bah.

It's been a week since things started... not happening. It's taking its toll on me. It's kinda crushing me.

To set things straight, (think I've been hiding for far too long.) 

Yes I like somebody. No, I don't like anyone else. I'm over it.

And the biggest thing I was willing to give - time - no longer holds any meaning. Rendered useless.

I'm an average person, and I have just that much to offer.

It's not a matter of take it or leave it. But think about it.

For the past 4 days I've been Layteng's siamese twin. I followed her wherever she went!

On Thursday I went to meet up with her with Wan Tong, Wan Ting and Li Min(g).

On Friday we went clubbing at Butter Factory with Wan Tong and Wei Jie!

On Saturday we went Night Safari + Supper with Brotherhood!

On Sunday (today) we went to BottleTree park with Wan Tong, Wan Ting, Li Ming, Kah Hwee, Zaini (sp?) and Tony!!

:)

Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LAYTENG! :D:D

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As for pictures, soon! :D

For now,


The <3s who went paintballing then prawning! :) and Tony the nice guy gave Layteng a really nice NatGeo notebook for her birthday before he left for dinner. :)
Tony Zaini
Kah Hwee Mikhail
Liming WanTong WanTing LayTeng!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND SISTER! :D

Trying to fit in back to Singapore.

Waiting for the green man to appear before crossing the road.
Keeping left on the staircases and escalators.
Bowing and saying thankyou to the waitress/cashier after having food delivered/made a payment.
Politely accepting flyers.
Queuing up while waiting to enter the MRT.

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Damn it.

I'm not lost and I know what I want.

I'll wait.